The Clerkship Chronicles; On Wednesdays We Wear Black

You’d think that the professionals of law would be serious dignified people who never kowtowed to the vices of the public. The television series and movies certainly make it clear that the law is a special profession in which emotions are stripped away after your law degree and instead are replaced with a desperate desire to tear down all other competitors.

 This image of a lawyer is certainly the greatest pop culture reference -and you will see many jokes in which lawyers are referred to as ‘sharks.’ However, after spending six months embroiled in the reality of the legal profession I think perhaps the more apt description of a lawyer – at the very least a barrister – is a teenage girl.

Getting stereotypical here, teenage girls love to gossip, wear the right clothes and heaven forbid that you fall out of the right crowd. If any of these things happen it’s next to the end of the universe and you cannot possibly imagine continuing on with your day.

Let me tell you – this is EXACTLY what it is like as a clerk. Watching the barristers in court is hilarious – and if you ever go in to court to watch a trial (Which you totally should) these analogies will play over and over in your head.

To begin with; You must wear the right clothes.

#rebellion; young clerk dares
to wear pink!

The title of the article is ‘on Wednesdays, we wear black’. It was a phrase that stuck in my head when I was attending a trial last week. I was wearing an orange skirt -which seems like a whimsical fact to give you, but I must tell you that I gathered so many odd looks and security asked me if I was lost because if you’re not a client you must wear black. Trust me – when you’re clerking you want a wardrobe like Wednesday Addams, because you will wear black, with black accents. Occasional whites and greys are forgivable on juniors like myself-  but oh-my-god should you not wear ‘orange.’

The clerkship chronicles are all about honesty and truly telling you what it’s like to be a clerk so I will begrudgingly admit that I found this hilarious. I spent half the day reminding myself to act like a grownup every time someone commented on the color of my skirt. I never imagined that something so simple would mean so much.

What’s more amusing than the tragic fashion decisions of a junior clerk is the submission made by flustered barristers most Monday mornings. Usually it’s the junior barristers who make this mistake but once or twice an elder barrister will be caught out, and its comedy gold.

Picture this; it’s 8:00 am in the morning at the supreme court. Bleary eyed and clutching the first coffee of the day a barrister enters the court room. They sit down and set their coffee on the table before spinning in their chair to tell their colleague the latest update to the brief when they realize that their learned friend is sitting, with their gown elegantly draped behind them and a wig adorning their head.

You can see the blood drain out of their face when they realize that they were meant to wear robes on this occasion - and to their horror they have not worn their robes!

The humiliation of this occasion is only made worse when the Queen B of the court room - the judge raises their eyebrows at them upon entering the room. The ultimate despair of a barrister is for the judge to notice that they’ve done something wrong. As, much like teenagers, to lose your image in front of the most popular girl in school (or the one in charge) is to forfeit your entire reputation.

The barrister then must be forced to stutter their way through an apology, and thank his honor for their kindest curtesy when they are told they may be permitted to appear at the bar ‘unrobed.’

Even better than wearing the wrong clothes – is what barristers do when they’re both in robes. I like to compare it to a peacock dance.

Instead of laughing I take discrete
pictures of the court room ;)

A barrister’s robe (At least in Australia) is reasonably long, and can be flung about when you’re walking. It also has a tassel and a small bag near the nape of the neck. This heralds back to the early practice of law in England where those wishing for the advocacy of a barrister would place money in the pouch before the barrister would speak for them. Now it remains empty -  but don’t think the robe no longer serves a purpose!

Before a defence barrister stands up to speak they will always make sure to swing the end of their robe towards the center of the bar and then stand up with a flourish. The result looks something like a peacock throwing its tail towards an enemy to frighten them. I think in many ways this is what’s going on, because the implicit suggestion is that ‘my robe is bigger than yours, therefore I am correct.’ But, be warned, I haven’t had the gall to ask any barrister why exactly they do this yet – so I am only speculating.

Prosecution barristers tend to leave their opposition to flick their gowns about the court room. Yet, don’t think they’re innocent of this postulation. Prosecution barristers prefer to grab at the lectern (I like think the sheriff officers like to leave only one at the bar table so that they can watch the tug of war between the two sides). Once they grab the lectern they pull it over to their side, making it obvious that it is ‘their turn’ to speak and that the defence shall have no lectern to speak at. This obviously indicates that the prosecution has more important things to talk about than the defence, who are usually left to stand without a lectern – unless they grab back at the stand.

What makes this even better is when there is a dispute over an objection in which the defence and prosecution only stand up for a minute to thirty seconds at a time and there’s a constant; flick, grab, flick, grab that goes on.

At least I'm still a student! Finding out
I had to limit my wardrobe at a later date
could've been /devastating/ !!

 The Australian legal system is an adversarial legal system meaning that there are two sides which battle it out in order to seek the truth behind an event and determine the guilt or innocence of an accused. The adversarial nature of this system brings about one of the most complex social arrangements that I think exists in Australia. And to explain the judge’s role in this weird social verse, they are the Queen B. Think back to high school where there was the super popular girl with her two best friends who were always battling it out to be the only best friend of the popular girl. Defence and prosecution are the two best friends of the popular girl – and at the end of the day she’ll only favor one.

So, if you were wondering what it was like to be a clerk and you’re still too young to do an internship just watch mean girls – you’ll get a good idea of what it’s like to be in a real-life court room ;) 

Lulu Hensman

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A bow for the judge

Despite my best efforts, this new year has brought about the discussion of updating my blog. I am sure that you were all incredibly bored during the holiday break – and missed my blogs dearly! However, this year signals a great change for The Underage Lawyer, both the social media and the writer.

It is our third year of blogging together, and I am very excited to introduce a new blog series. This series is going to signal a change in The Underage Lawyer, as I move from purely reading textbooks to delving into the reality of the legal world.

As I commence my second year of law, I think it is evident to most that I have graduated from the precocious wannabe lawyer. I am now something akin to a semi-lost law clerk. I say semi lost because as you will discover in this upcoming series, life as a law clerk isn’t as simple as the textbooks suggest. There is awkwardness and a distinct lack of sophistication as I negotiate the path from the textbook to the court.

Although I cannot publish names, dates or juicy case details, I can promise you to accurately details the mishaps of my daily events at court. Already in the last six months, I have made enough mistakes to make a soap opera.

Ready for the day!

Firstly, an introduction to the two most important places in a clerk’s adventure.

One; the office where my senior/boss/supervisor works. The office is important as a lot of the time I'm situated there. The room consists mostly of books and unsorted files. A desk, trinkets, and three chairs accompany this messy array of records.

Two: The courtroom. Far less time is spent here than the movies suggest, but there’s a lot of time to marvel at the excitement of it never the less. In the courtroom beware, many odd rules and rooms might land you in strife.

The first day I spent on my clerkship I was attending a case in court. As a clerk, I don’t have to stand up or say anything. I get to follow behind the barrister and hold any important notes as well as take notes for myself. It’s a lot like being a secretary because the more you can keep track of the files and where they are the better you’ll do.

If you’re ever going to be a clerk I’d recommend working on your memory retention –  the ability to remember cases is a godsend! Try to remember both cases you’ve worked in and the cases you have used as precedents. In fields like family and criminal law you’ll use the same precedents again and again, so the faster you remember them the better you will be able to follow legal arguments in court.

But back to the case, this wasn’t a jury trial – it was a sentencing proceeding. This is a far more casual affair in which the judge lays down what he will punish the convicted with, and any mitigating factors are considered (although sometimes it happens before this date).

Hanging out in the witness room
before a case!

Of course, most court behaviors must accompany this proceeding but who knew there were so many! While law books write about deference to the judge and court to show respect to the justice that is present it’s a lot different to act it out in court. The act of respect usually takes form in a bow towards the judge and this bow feels pretty awkward.

In school, I thought I knew what it felt like to bow to a judge. You bend slightly, straighten and then take your seat.

If only it were that simple!

 In a courtroom, you feel especially concerned about not making a fool of yourself. So as the excited but terrified junior I have I had no idea what to do when the judge entered the room. I knew to bow of course – but how deep, how long and in what direction?

Most people would assume that you can just copy the barristers and solicitors that surround you – but beware - they are seldom useful when you’re not sure what to do. The different members of the court room all appear to have different ideas about what they’re doing Not that they’re all vastly different, but they’ll all have varying degrees of duration, depth, and direction – so don't look to them for help!

Peppermint chocolate...I burned a lot
of calories with all that bowing!!

Older barristers and solicitors make their bow confident, ending their bow with a sophisticated nod to the judge. Most of them will have worked with the same judge several times before, and their professional relationship shows by the ease of the gesture. However, younger solicitors and barristers perform a quick head bob, much like a bird pecking for worms. They appear almost unsure if they’re meant to be bowing at all. So, when you’re trying to figure out what to do, stick with short and straightforward. At least that way you can’t be caught still bowing while the others are sitting down! 

Who knew something so simple could be so awkward?

As a first day on the job, it was a surprisingly simple thing that tripped me up. There is no need to fret if you’re just beginning your legal career in high school or at uni. We’re all going to make mistakes, and something as simple as a bow can’t end your chances forever. Remember when you’re feeling awkward you’re probably not alone – so just do your best!