Legal face; The Clerkship Chronicles

Hello everyone! Another installment to ‘the clerkship chronicles’ you can read the other installment on this series by selecting the title on the side bar. I wanted to talk today about embarrassment, and a recent episode I had in the office with one of the top solicitors in th

Trust me - these files are barely
a quarter of what's there

e city.

Embarrassment is the curse of a legal junior. It does not matter whether you do something right, wrong or in between; you will wake up at one o’clock in the morning wondering why on earth you did that thing. It’s guaranteed that at least once you’ll spend the entire night reading as many articles you can get your hands on so that you never look that dumb again.

I spend much time in my senior’s office where we are meeting clients, colleagues and other legal personnel. It is an unusual experience because his office is stuffed with books, paper, and memorabilia. I would liken it to a dragon’s den of treasure – but I do not think he would appreciate the reference! So, I will not mention it, and instead say that he uses an abstract filing system.

Back to task, I, usually, am tucked in a corner of his office pouring over a client’s file or a legal tome. Everyone knows how much I love to be surrounded by books and I don’t bother to unload one book off my lap and pick up another – especially when I’m in the middle of a paper trail.

This crazy method of filing papers and stacking books is fine until someone comes in to visit. If they are staying long enough, it is pretty hard to pretend I don’t exist. So, I introduce myself, or they introduce themselves – either way, you better be prepared for some awkward shuffling.

To extract myself from the immense pile of papers and law books that are sitting on my lap, I have found that I have to scoop my hips up and then cradle the papers on my lap with one hand. If not done in a fluid motion we can have a cascade of highlighters, papers and heavy textbooks hitting the floor. This is such an awkward experience – as I then have to dart about the office trying to stop the other piles of books and files from being knocked over. It’s a bit of a whack-a-mole situation.

Universities may encourage group work
- but I can see some advantages to self study!

One time I was introduced to one of the top solicitors in the city. It was very exciting, and of course, my coordinated-self did not ‘grip’ the books before I stood up. The books flew from beneath my fingers, and my feet were covered in pens and various loose handouts before I knew it. Of course, with the world being as it is – murphy’s law applied and three other piles tipped over right next to him. Safe to say, the carpet was well hidden from view.

Social etiquette books are split on what to do when you drop something. Some suggest that you should wait for an appropriate moment before you attempt to gather what you can while others suggest that you clear the mess up immediately and apologize for your clumsiness.

Well, that’s a lot of help. In these situations, you’re basically on your own – so I’d recommend taking your cue from someone else. At least if you both do the wrong thing it feels a lot less awkward.

You may now be wondering how I reacted to completely destroying the precarious filing system that existed within my senior’s office – while standing in front of a very important lawyer. Well…over the past few months, I seem to have developed what I like to call ‘legal face.’ It is not an attractive thing to have, trust me, but it is a real thing. It is where something happens, be it funny, sad, shocking or embarrassing and you revert to an immediate frown. Except it’s not a small frown – think a grumpy cat combined with a smirk. If you’re really curious look at this.  

All in all - I'd earned some time to read
in the sun.

Naturally, at this moment all three of the people in the office, including myself, could not fathom whether this moment was funny or embarrassing-  and a uniform ‘legal face’ was the only appropriate reaction. – Why anyone bothers watching suits when there are far better ways to display the humorous realities of the legal profession I don’t know.  

After several tedious moments of pointedly ignoring the mess I had created, he shook my hand and sat down, as did I. The mess on the floor remained steadfastly ignored until he and my senior both left to get a file. Then I madly gathered them up, all the while wishing I had not chosen that day to wear my soft pink blush, because my face looked like a baby flamingo.  

I cannot pitch in on the social etiquette side of the equation – but to all future law students, be prepared. However agile and dexterous you are at home, forget about it under pressure. Possibly not the most positive message – but if I told you that you were never going to make an embarrassing mistake again when you started a clerkship I’d be a serious liar. 

The legal realities of making social media liable

There was an article in the economist today titled ‘Internet firms’ legal immunity is under threat.' It was examining the recent growth in social media companies and their accountability to the general public. It pointed to internet giants such as Google and Facebook who are highly successful in their non-physical domain.

They claim that they are not responsible for any harm that occurs outside of the internet because it is not within their control. The article suggests that this legal exceptionalism can no longer continue because the various governments and courts of the world are attempting to grow into this internet space and make claims that these medias have to police more efficiently.

Just think, several years ago
a girl writing a blog about her
academic persuasion was not just
socially strange - it was technologically
impossible!

Referencing the historical reasons for the legal immunity that social media programs were awarded, such as a 1995 defamation claim that was later dropped, the article suggests that it was too early then for anyone to imagine these online companies being so prominent in the world's economy. This is understandable as it was once unimaginable that every individual would own a computer – let alone computer, phone, iPod, and iPad.

The most recent shift in the use of the internet has meant that the previous minimal safeguards against online criminal activity are becoming too small to police this particular part of the internet. Of course, the article relies on the negative media attention given to freelance services like Uber and Air BnB to substantiate the point that these online firms are enterprising giants with more money and power than sense. 

It is important to recognize that while these internet firms have somewhat impacted the economies of the countries where they physically manifest such as Air BnB driving up the cost of affordable housing in a particular area or Uber cluttering the streets with cars.

The idea that these businesses cause more harm than good it not especially novel. The Guardian did a piece on air BnB pointing out the protests against Airbnb in New Orleans where the city council attempted to regulate the industry.

However, grassroots campaigns have not overridden the fierce determination to leave the internet a neutral space. The 1988 International Telecommunications Regulations (ITRs) grew to attempt to control the global community that built as a result of the internet. It attempted to give priority to health and safety regulations and control the flow of traffic between network operators.

The issue is that these treaties are completely ineffective. It is essentially creating one single police force to regulate the entire globe.

Some may argue that the advent of modern technology has meant that police automation is now possible,  which would allow governments to enforce a series of regulations on the global community.  However, it is important to recognize that malware has grown in tune with this new regulatory ability.

The internet is no longer a single dimension universe where websites and consumers exist in perfect harmony. Nor do scammers, trolls, and bullies use the Internet in the way that they did in 1988. Several internet gangs – most notably ‘anonymous'- have built themselves up to a point at which they are virtually untraceable by use of the usual internet.

Research all you can -
this internet phenomenon is not
getting any simpler

Several different ‘layers’ of the internet are now available for use by those with varying levels of programming and technical abilities. These new layers all have some association with criminality – and the issue is not these simple businesses making a profit off the neutrality of the open access internet, but the developing software that has created a chain of criminality that sits beneath the surface of the everyday internet.

So, while it is perfectly fine to discuss the liability of Facebook for not taking enough of interest in regulating the pre-election news and evaluating its trustworthiness, it’s entirely unreasonable to run away with this policing concept and suggest that there are automated methods by which we can create a utopian online environment. The fact of the matter is, that beyond what we can see through basic access on Google Facebook or other popular websites - the government’s ability to control how, when and why the internet is used is all but gone.

The neutrality of the internet exists not simply because of an agreement in the 1980s but because it is a virtual land in which our legal systems struggle to connect. Through the use of physical headquarters, there is some ability for the courts to connect liability to creators of products, copyright, and criminal enterprise – but this is quickly lessening as the mobility of businesses increases.

Using the average Etsy user as an example, their headquarters would usually be where they work. However, many of these sellers choose to travel frequently, meaning that their only set office space is their suitcase. Meaning that policing those sellers requires a disembodied legal authority that has no attachment to a country, government or other authority. A virtual impossibility in this nationalistic environment.

 Anyone would then realize that online neutrality is not under threat – because the ‘legal immunity' given to businesses is not a kind hand out from world governments – but an acknowledgment of the fact that human kind has a space that they are not yet able to police effectively. 

Hermione Granger Syndrome; Are you a secret sufferer?

I hope you all heard the news!

If you’re not sure what I’m talking about – then let me tell you. ANU is now ranked as the seventh best university in the world for international connections. This positions the university right in between Oxford and Cambridge – can you believe it? It means that ANU has connections and a reputation that situates it as an established academic institution – an amazing success for such a young university.

This is especially impressive considering that five universities in Australia are featured in the top twenty universities per global connections in the world. ANU is also featured in the top 25 best academic universities in the world, It is such an amazing achievement for such a small country (population wise at least).

The onset of this condition is often a surprise
to many sufferers

However, in acknowledgement of ANU’s growing academic success, I thought I’d discuss the growing trend towards Hermione Granger Syndrome.

For those of you who don’t understand the reference (Where have you been living!?) Hermione Granger is a character from Harry Potter. Gifted with incredible intelligence and often referred to as ‘the greatest witch of her time’ it’s understandable that Hermione knows a lot of things. She is a voracious reader and has an uncanny ability to apply theory to practical reality – an undervalued trait.

Unfortunately, her social life is small, mostly because she is a major know it all. This syndrome usually manifests in four ways.

1.      You cannot stop thinking about studying

This syndrome often begins with a slight attachment to stationary. It’s beautiful, attractive, mostly affordable and it makes everything look great. Most people would sympathize with this attachment, so I wouldn’t be too worried if this is all that you suffer from. But beware, because as this syndrome develops you’ll find social media tags like ‘studyspo, study motivation, studyblr’ and your time will be consumed with images of notes, books, textbooks and schedules – nothing will be prettier than study notes to you.

It seems ridiculous when you look back on this phenomenon from the outside – but trust me the addiction comes quickly. Before you know it the idea of looking up any other kind of image is pointless. What’s prettier than a cute font and some midliner coloring? Who even cares about yoga when there’s annotated textbooks? Certainly, not the sufferer of Hermione Granger Syndrome.

This terrible affliction will even extend to your daily activities. You’ll be exercising because it improves your focus while you study, you’ll be eating healthy to fuel your brain for study and your room will be tidy because that channels better studying. 

2.      You can’t stop trying to teach others

Of course, this syndrome is like many others – it’s contagious. It’s bad at being contagious, but the syndrome definitely attempts to spread. Once you reach the second stage of this syndrome you’ll find yourself attempting to drag others along to your late night ‘study with me live’ binges on Instagram. You’ll probably even buy others nice stationary to help get them started on their pathway to doom.

As you reach midway in this syndrome’s progression, those in the milder stages will turn to you for help. You’ll find yourself teaching how to add in those finer details to keep your study pages looking prim and proper – not to mention you’ll keep your notes in folders – they’re not good notes unless they’re looking clean and crisp!

In the depth of this syndrome I once found myself bringing a textbook to a friend’s house and attempting to show her how she really should be trying to annotate her textbook before an exam. Much to my dismay she appeared immune to this disease and continued watching the television series before her.

3.      Your goals are ridiculously high

The mental challenges with this syndrome are greater than a new desire to learn a foreign language or conquer the lesser known fallacies of the theory of relativity. Instead you will find yourself attempting to single handedly break a record for grades that never even existed.

It sounds bad…but I once had a goal to receive 46/42 on the LNAT. The LNAT stands for Law National Admissions Testing and is rumored to be one of the hardest tests for admission. Despite being out of 42 the average grade usually sits somewhere around 18, with some people receiving results as low as 6. A score of 30 or above is exceptional and can land you an interview at many Ivy League Universities.

I wasn't very happy to see I'd missed
 out on such a little goal

So where did the goal of 46 come from? There’s a legend that one boy got 43/42 although looking through the internet I couldn’t find proof of this. However, at the time I believed it to be possible and so I aimed for 46 instead of 42. You wouldn’t believe my disappointment when I missed out on getting 46. It was as if I’d somehow failed at a basic task.

Luckily, I had several non-sufferers to remind me that not achieving impossible goals was not the end to my academic career.

The syndrome often develops in groups, which makes it harder to identify. For example, I was surrounded by beautiful, intelligent people for the majority of my high school years. I was also lucky enough to be allowed to attend Adelaide University from the age of sixteen – which meant I was introduced to an entirely new level of academia.

Of course, it wasn’t enough. I was disappointed because I had not beaten the academic achievements my greatest role model, Lord Denning.

Lord Denning began university at fourteen where he completed a mathematics degree on scholarship before he eventually continued on to a law degree and then became the famous judge that we all know and love. Denning’s easy going sense of humor drew many to the profession and for those who haven’t read any of his books – I’d have to recommend them to you, they’re legally humorous in ways you never anticipated.

That being said, I learned to live with the reality that I would never measure up to this legal hero – and now have determined that a far more attainable goal is to have more academic literature published than Amal Clooney.

4.      Unless an activity benefits your study, it’s not in your priority list

The final stage that the suffer will reach is that study will become the greatest achievement on
their list of daily tasks. If an activity doesn’t help them to reach their academic goal, then forget about it. Of course, some may argue that this is a productive lifestyle built towards propelling yourself into an advantageous and exciting career – I argue this is a very sad effect of Hermione Granger Syndrome.

For those of you who are fellow sufferers of this syndrome I invite you to join me on my Instagram every Tuesday night at 5 pm AEDT, for a live study and chat broadcast!

A tale of two cafes

Those of you who follow my Instagram and Tumblr will have seen that recently I have been lavishly indulging my love of cafes. I have just spent a month in Adelaide, Australia’s food and wine center. Best known for its churches and festivals, Adelaide is a small but exciting part of the country. Currently it features a population of just under one million and several different sandy beaches. It is the perfect relaxation destination for anyone who is tired of the city’s hustle and bustle.

I went to two different cafes both were very unique choices.  Although the intention was not to rank these cafes. The difference between these two places was fascinating and I thought you might be interested to read the difference as well. 

As we were in Adelaide, the capital of festivals and Art it seemed fitting to find cafes that followed these themes. I connected quickly to a blog that listed eight of the best cafes in Adelaide and I picked one of those from the list. The other choice was recommended to us by a family friend who had been there previously.

The first café was called SAD café – although the name is intended to connect to their partnering hair salon DAS, this café seems to match its title. When we first walked down the street to find the café we saw what looked like another customer resting on a bench taking photos of herself – which is a very good sign if you’re looking for a hipster café.

We all know that the selfie culture is perpetuated by these alternative and non-conforming photo takers. Therefore, we were thrilled to see this taking it as a good omen.

The café is quite small and features a monochrome appearance with light brown uncovered tables. I’m sorry to say I accidentally deleted the photo that I took of inside the café – but it is fairly standard. Although the layout was unusual in that the hairdressing salon connected directly to the café. At first, we thought this was an extra seating area- but once we saw those hair cutting chairs we realized that wasn’t quite right!

After shuffling around the inside of the café for a bit we determined that we’d rather wait outside and enjoy the sun that filters through onto the outdoor seats. It was a nice warm day – perfect weather for outside sitting. The tables hadn’t been cleared off yet and so we made ourselves useful and began moving the dishes – now I only mention this because as we did so the girl who we thought was a customer sitting on the bench jumped up and took the dishes to the kitchen.

Realizing that the girl was not a customer but in fact a silent and disinterested waitress we began to understand why the owners had felt that ‘sad café’ was an apt name for this little joint.

The menu is short but well laid out and provides some fairly tantalizing options for lunch and coffee. I chose the simple gluten free granola while my coffee partner inquired about gluten free bread. – Be aware they do not have gluten free bread (but they have gluten free granola?)

Lunch was very charmingly laid out with fresh fruit and greek yoghurt accompanying the granola and my friend’s lunch was also fresh. I am no food critic so I’ll leave that to the experts – but as for the coffee, it was clearly an organic blend. The type of bean was bitter and but not burned. It was made reasonably quickly and settled in a plain black cup.

The appearance of the food and type of plates used weren’t anything exciting. Certainly for a hipster café connected to a hair salon I had hoped for something a little upbeat – but perhaps the silent uniform requirement of all shaved heads should’ve told me that I don’t quite understand the image that this café presents.

The next café that we went to was out of the city in a smaller townside area of Adelaide called Lost in the Forest. Adelaide towns are well known for their boutique coffee and cake places – so I was keen to see why this café stood out to so many.

It is set in an old church on the side of the hill. There are only six parking spaces reachable off a little side road. The café itself, however, is very popular and requires you to book online in order to be seated for one of their meal rounds. The tricky thing about booking yourself in is that it is only open a few days per week and not for consistent meal times. You can find out about Lost in the Forest’s opening times and booking system [here].

Much like the previous café that we visited the staff are not dressed in the traditional black so they blend in with the patrons of the café as well (Be wary when asking someone which way to the bathroom – they may not be staff!) However, they are very friendly and we were greeted immediately upon entering the door.

The church is still clearly a church although it has been renovated with plain white walls, a recycled timber and glass bar and a pizza oven.

Pizza is the main feature of this café so forget about this café if that’s not what you’re looking for. Instead of coffee and cake we chose to select two of their gluten free gourmet pizzas to sample. While we were waiting it was impossible not to admire the art work that was sketched from the wall to the ceiling. It certainly matched that artistic/rustic feel that I had been hoping to find somewhere around Adelaide.

Overall the two cafes both provided decent food and match that artistic vibe that you want to find when you eat somewhere like Adelaide. The problem was that the level of service at the SAD café was actually ‘sad.’ You’ll have to forgive the puns – but when a name describes the object so perfectly one can’t help but use it. Customer service is the epitome of a café, especially in a city like Adelaide where cafes and wineries face strong competition.

I look forward to hearing your favorite café spots around the world and what makes them special! Leave a comment below to tell me what you think.